This is apparently what you get when you cross Ja Rule’s organizational skills with the star power of models like Kendall Jenner, Bella Hadid and Emily Ratajkowski—half-built disaster relief tents marketed as “luxury glamping” and “chef-curated culinary pop-ups” that are really just ham sammies.

 

 

Behold Fyre Festival, the so-called luxury music festival to be held in Bahamas, whose line-up includes Pusha T, Tyga, Blink-182, Major Lazer, Skepta and Disclosure, organized by Ja Rule and promoted by the aforementioned model babes on the ‘gram that just went from chic to chaotic rill quick. (Oh, and did we mention that tix reportedly ran up to $12,000?)

 

 

Headliner Blink-182 (are they still a thing?!) pulled out of the festival just hours before throngs of thirsty party-goers and jet-setting trust fund babies arrived on the island of Exuma to find themselves pretty much stranded among unfinished tents, dented old high-school lockers with no actual locks—to “securely” store their wads of cash, of course—no Wi-Fi (RIP FOMO-inducing Instagram stories), the rickety frame of a “concierge tent” and limited food, not to mention reports of muggings as well as feral dogs roaming the grounds.

And while we do sincerely hope the people stranded there are safe (we’re not full monsters), Twitter has been straight savage with #fyrefestival and we are so here for it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

You just know Dianne Bruce is somewhere draped in mink swirling a glass of Cab Sauv as she watches this PR nightmare unfold.

 

 

Filed under: Bella Hadid, Emily Ratajkowski, Fyre Festival, Ja Rule, Kendall Jenner